How to Have Confidence (Pt. 1)

Confidence is not something easily obtained. It's quick to teach, but takes many moons to learn. Because of this. "How to Have Confidence" is going to be a multi-part series. This, is part one.

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Part 1. Stop Looking in Your Neighbor's Bowl

I once heard a quote that said "you should never look in your neighbor's bowl except to see if he has enough to eat." This quote entirely sums up where lack of confidence comes from. The fact is the main source of a lack of confidence comes from wanting to be someone other than yourself. We all wish we were taller, shorter, thinner, bigger, darker, lighter, blonde, brunnette, English, American, richer, poorer etc. We all want something other than what we have and wanting something other than what you have will cause your confidence to plummet.

I used to suffer from lack of confidence worse than anyone you can possibly imagine. I remember all throughout high school all I wanted was to be just like everyone else (rather what I thought everyone else was like). All of the other kids seemed to have more money than me, they had cars, they seemed taller than me, cooler than me, fitter than me and so on. I wanted to be what I considered the average. Just somewhere in the middle where everyone would accept me.

One day a couple of years later though I looked in the mirror and said to myself "I like the way I look". That was one of the biggest moments in my life. I stopped comparing myself to everyone else and stopped wanting what they wanted and started loving what I had. I may not very tall, but I looked really great in a suit. I may not be able to grow a rockin beard, but I've heard facial hair is a pain anyway. I may not have amazing gainz, but I'm smarter than many people. I also look absolutely fantastic in a suit. I started liking my face, my body, my voice, my mind, my hair and everything else that made me, me. And none of this in an arrogant way, but in a way where it was genuine love for myself.

After I had this epiphany I realized something, all of those people I used to envy in school weren't better than me at all. And me, in my new found confidence, wasn't better than them. We were all equal. We were just different. They had things that I didn't have and I had things that they didn't have. I realized I actually had a really great life. I stopped looking in my neighbor's bowl wanting what they had.

On a closing note, I've found that after I started accepting myself other people started accepting me too. I have more friends now than I ever have before. People really like who Matt is! The way I look, the way I act, the way I dress, everything. The fact is these people, the world didn't need another "them" they needed a "me".

I see people all of the time now who ask how I've achieved maximum confidence. Well this is the first step. If you can master this, the next steps will come very easily.